Everything I love and hate about being in a relationship with a French man.
“I’m going to have a petit cafe… and a petit yogurt… then I might go for a petit walk”
It’s a mellow Saturday morning. One of those miraculous days where the winter has gifted us A- glorious sunshine and B-on a weekend. I’m enjoying a languorous breakfast in bed with a mug of Earl Grey curtesy of a last minute M&S dash in London St-Pancreas. I have my tea in one hand and Wuthering Heights in the other. I’m determined to get through it before watching the Emerald Fennel version. Though admittedly the film has already infected my reading as every time I see the words Heathcliff, Jacob Elordi with side burns springs to mind. Funnily enough though, Margot Robbie never makes an appearance.
I’m one slice of marmalade on toast away from perfection and yet, I can feel a rising sense of irritation.
“A petite tartine for my petite Tatty?”
Ah yes, there it is, the source of my fledging bad mood, the constant, indiscriminate use of the word petit by my French boyfriend. He is basking in the joy of the sunny weekend ahead, all 1m92 of him prancing around the flat listening to France-Inter. I am at least aware of my own unreasonableness, here he is offering to make me a slice of toast and I have an issue with… the delivery?
But despite my rational brain communicating that this source of anger is unjustified it doesn’t stop the sharp intake of breath and eye roll that slips out of me.
Évidemment I don’t want to micro manage the way he expresses himself. Ça va de soi that I don’t want to limit his use of adjectives. Bien sure that it’s not for me to decide what can or can’t be petit. I certainly don’t want to dampen his mood or thrash his good humour with my English intolerance but… that being said… if I hear one more petit I think I might scream.
If you haven’t had the pleasure of spending extended periods of time with the French then you may not be aware of the diminutive petit. It translates as small or little and it is their favourite adjective. It can precede any inanimate object in any context because everything is better by being petit. (N.B: If you ever needed evidence of the fat phobic nature of the French- here it is.)