Green Scarf Man
N.B: This article is about a man who gave me a green scarf and if you need more context, I made a reel about it (the one where I'm hungover in a snakeskin skirt). It'll make sense.
Fine. I’ll spill the beans. I suppose what is the point of a private Substack if in this sacred space cocooned by a pay wall I can’t open my emotional guts to you. I have been seeing someone, if I haven’t spoken about it before it’s because “it” has been unclear. I wanted to have a bit more clarity on the appropriate label for “it” before broadcasting “it” to the world. Yet here we are, weeks later, and “it” is the subject of this Substack.
Firstly, a confession, the timeline isn’t quite what you think it is. By that I mean this relationship (read situationship) is not as fresh as it seems. I actually met green scarf man nearly three months ago (December 14th but who is counting right?) and I reference our first and second date in my Miscellaneous musings from my sick bed post- “I had 4 hours of interrupted sleep with a 33 year old man who has the sex drive of a teenager.” Yes. That guy. I have been seeing him since and I can’t tell you how man times we’ve seen each other as in France they don’t count these things. There are no sex after the third date rules or “are we exclusive ?” after 10 dates chats. Love is love and if it’s l’Amour in the first 5 minutes then voilà, you can’t put rules and chronologies on emotions (apparently).
It began like all disastrous love stories do with him being intensely into me. I wouldn’t go as far as to say “love bombing” though I did have to explain the concept to him as it’s something they are only just discovering in France (and struggling to understand as the difference between la passion and being toxic isn’t immediately obvious to French men). He doesn’t speak English and a misspelt What’s App turned “love bombing” into “bum loving” so that’s now what we call it. “I promise I’m not bum loving you”. Yes he’s very witty and we share a highbrow sense of humour. He hit all the red flag milestones: intense messaging, over zealous, no boundaries. Less than two weeks in he deleted his Hinge with absolutely zero encouragement from me. Fortunately I’m 35 which means that this isn’t my first Dom Juan rodeo.