New year and exactly the same me.

Why is it that every time I hear the words “WHAT ARE YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS?” do I instinctively want to take a nap?

I’m back at work. Well trying to be. Somewhere around Christmas I fell to the bottom of a motivational well and I’m clawing my way back up to the top e-mail by e-mail. My cognitive abilities feel submerged in a thick viscous liquid (Baileys?Mulled wine?) that makes my synapses move at the speed of a zimmer frame. This is a problem as being funny relies primarily on being sharp and currently I feel about as sharp as a spoon. In a way I’m starting the year as I mean to go on: BY DOING LESS. I’m being aggressively vocal about this because I am trying to drown out the sound of every January marketing campaign. It’s only the 12th day of this new year and I’m overwhelmed with the amount of ways I’m told I should improve my life: STOP DRINKING. JOIN A GYM. LEARN MACRAMÉ.